Alive.

I'm blogging again here!

Because school's about to start. (Although I did have summer classes. ._.;;)

Anywaaay.

Time to bring the positivity back.

I'm going to battle Accounting this time. (We already have homework for it! Classes haven't even started yeeet.)

Yosssh.

And Law. :|

Monday-Saturday class is FTL.

And 6pm-9pm class = hate.

But oh well. I have to live through it.

The tuition fee at the school I'm attending is not particularly an easy sum to just take out of my parents' wallets. So I have to work hard. As Ikuta Toma said, Ike Ike Go Go! Ore Go Go!

Last day of vacation. What a drag.

Tomorrow, I go back to QC. I finally have a roommate. NOES.

Goodbye room. ;_;

Hmm..

I *think* I've spent my vacation wisely. Brought back the Japanese girl in me. (When college started, I lost track of the shows I've been watching and failed to watch anything japanese for a year.)

One look at Yamapi, I was good to go.

I finished two dramas, Yukan Club and Love Shuffle. I also re-watched Hanazakari no Kimitachi e and Nobuta wo Produce. And I started watching the talk show by KAT-TUN (which is so hilarious.) Annnnndddd I reviewed my hiragana. I forgot them. :|

きよう, わたし は とても うれしい です よ｡ わたし は baby back ribs, lamb chops, rack of lambs そして ごはん た べました｡ とても おい しい です よ｡ もう, たべます よ｡

Eh, I'm not sure about that. Ohohohoho. Correct me if I'm wrong. :)

ANYWAYYYY.

Time to go back to packing.

Anti-failure activated. XD Shield against accounting is up. I hope. Hahaha.

Fortune tooties.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

I defeated Isaac Newton!

I saw my grades. XD

Although Calculus and Physics are my lowest subjects. :( Tsk. destroyed my B+ combo. XD C for calculus and B for physics. ewwww.

At least I passed. I thought I was going to get kicked out. -_-

Thanks to the 6-unit evil course that is Calculus!

It's 12 am here in California and I'm not yet sleepy. :|

Oh yeah. We went to the US for a vacation.

LONG HAUL FLIGHTS = WTF?!

Lol. At least I experienced Business Class. We got upgraded during our Manila to HK flight. But then again..I wished we were in the Business class during the HK to San Francisco flight. :|

10 days in Hayward/San Francisco and 7 in Los Angeles.

Damn. I'm going to miss the first three days of my summer classes.

It's hard to miss a class. :(

I hope I get to cope up.

AND. I hate travelling. Except roadtrips. Now that I like. :( Airplanes give me nervous breakdowns. :))

Oh wells.

My jaw hurts. Lol. My little cousins here are english speaking kids. SLANG. :))

I.

Can't.

Keep.

Up.

Help.

Lol.

Good night. :]

There's a place in the world where the sun don't shine.

Today is the second to the last battle of Isaac Newton and Me. :|

In Calculus, that is. I still have one more for Physics.

It's my last long test for Calculus later and next Tuesday is our Finals.

I have to do good and beat the crap out of Newton before he beats me up.

Summer is jam-packed with gigs and I ain't gonna miss them just because some stupid crap physicist thought of making the world suffer with integrals. :|

Haha.

I will kick his ass today.

I will. I will.

Think positive for me!

:D

Ikeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Just hit me with your best shot.

Friday = Happiest Calculus Day for me.

Not just because we had a free cut...

but because for the first time ever...

I got a friggin' B+ on a Calculus Exam. HAH. Kicked ass!

I'd like to shake my brain's hand, only it doesn't have one. Haha. Good job brain. Happy thoughts calmed you down during panicky moments. I could've gotten an A, if I only wasn't stupid enough to forget to distribute the negative sign to the whole integral. GRRR.

But who am I to complain? I got a B+. ME. MEEEE. If you know me, and you know me, I suck at math BIG time. So I'll take what I can get. I'm satisfied. Now I know I can do better. Plus hugs for my brain! ++huggg++

Because of that, I can now watch the concert that placed a big hole in my pocket in peace. I was feeling guilty because it was expensive. But I saved up for it! It just sucks that, for the duration that I wasn't spending my allowance for it, I didn't even lose weight! HAHAHAHA. Yeah. It's an issue for me. :| There's singing in my head right now. (I'm a big, big, girl in a big, big, world.) But yeah. Finally paid my mom for the 5k I borrowed. So now I can watch it, guilt-free. Like a good 'ol crap food that they claim to be sugarless and fat-free! :D Especially now that I got a B+ for my math. No more guilty crap! I won't be guilty if it was the same as the first concert. I got VIP tickets for free. I was in the guest list of the Eraserheads' guitarist. But now, they don't have lists anymore. SOOOOOO. I had to shell out cash. I don't know why I love them so much. I just do. And I loved them even more when I got an A in my English paper. They were my topic. HAH. :)) Nothing beats a good inspiration, eh?

Enough about that. It makes me more excited.

So today, a blockmate of mine and me went to SM North Edsa to watch He's Just Not That Into You. (Phew. I can't say the title straight IRL. I get the words mixed up.) We watched there because it was the only mall with the early showing. Trinoma's didn't fit our schedule. I must say, it's a good movie. There were dragging parts (or maybe I'm just not that into chick flicks.) but all-in-all, Ben Affleck made me squeal. If such men exist, I doubt there'd be love crap problems around the globe. Hmp. Movies and Pop Culture. It's ridiculous how they exude millions of fantasies to make reality hurt more, eh? Anyway. His character was so sweet. Made me 'awwww'. And there was this character, a girl played by Ginnifer Goodwin, who was an overthinker and was too obsessed with the guys she just dated. She always wondered if they'd call her back or if she should call them back and blah blah blah. I found her too praning and clingy. Haha. But all ended well. I loved the line in the movie, well, technically the book, where they explained the RULE and the EXCEPTION.

See, for example, if you just finished a date with someone and he still hasn't called you back...week after week..., it's ok. Because you know your friend told you about her friend that was in the same situation before. And after weeks of no communication, he finally called her up and they ended up getting married. So you're suddenly plunged into a fantasy realm and you stupidly believe this. But what you don't know is that there's a RULE. If a guy wants to see you, he WILL make it happen and won't wait. If he's interested, he'll call immediately. If he doesn't, he doesn't like you. That's the bottom line. ("Men don't forget how much they like you."--from the movie.) And that friend of your friend that lived her happily ever after was an EXCEPTION to that very RULE, which you belong to. And then at the last part, there was a dialogue between two characters saying something about being his exception. Awww. Ironic, since he was the one who told her all about the rule. (Spoiler, much? XD) Anyway...I found the line cute. Meh. My girl side's growing out. Harumph.

So yeah. My blockmate and I enjoyed the movie so much. But I must admit, I got bored somewhere in the middle and just wanted to get it over with. It lacked humor and was more on developing the story, really. No sidedishes of laughter or something. There are, but they're countable. I'd rather read the book. :| Okay, I'll watch it again. For Ben Affleck. Haha. Over all, it's a movie to be watched with girls. Haha. If not, it's just going to make you want to smack the guys with you and ask them why can't they be like those nice guys in the movie and not the jerk ones. :)) Argh. Screw you Pop Culture!

That's it.

Time to sign off. Sigh. Chick Flick overload. UGHHH.



Can you be my exception?

Is there anybody going to listen to my story?

I was planning to post yesterday but I got pissed so I decided not to.

I effing slipped on the overpass. I was unaware of the big crack that wasn't there earlier. It wasn't the embarrassment nor the pain that pissed me off. It was the fact that my newly printed 7-page paper that I was holding that very moment got crumpled beyond recognition. Ok, exaggerating. But still. It was in a state wherein I could not submit it anymore. It was a hassle to print it before my class that's why I had it printed the day before but nooooo. It was useless to not cram. And most of all, I was so mad because I wasted 28 pesos. :| Ok. 28 pesos is not such a big amount, but hey, money does not grow on trees. And I really am trying to save up for a backpack (because mine's just trying to hold on now.), a digital camera for myself (Sony T700-T77!), or a Canon External Flash + Diffuser for the Canon 400D Slr. :| But not all at once of course. I feel guilty when I buy something because my grades aren't doing so well. I mean, it's not my money even though I saved it. Right? Right? It's not an easy thing to send me to school without an educational plan. (I'm the only one without one. :| Stupid CAP got bankrupt.) So I'm trying to tighten my belt as much as possible. Even beyond the last hole of the belt. ;]

Lol. So anyway. Budgeting is so hard. So far, since Monday, I only spent 200. Omg. Haha.

I'm not going hungry anyways. I have lots of food here at our dorm. :D And I have so much stuff to do at school that I always forget to take a break these days. :|

Hmm.

I need to go out. @_@

Time to study for my ITM exam on Friday. Need to polish my MS Excel skills. Urrrk.

Wish me luck!

We all want to change the world.

I suddenly remembered why I opted to make a new blog.

I was tired of having to keep my posts at my multiply site private from one person. I had enough of his confrontations about my posts. Yes, I get to see that person a lot. Because it's my dad.

It's annoying that my dad reads my multiply posts. I mean...privacy please! I know that he's reading my posts because multiply has this thing where you can view those who viewed your post. And one time, he told me that I should not be mean towards my cousin who was a bit of a bitch and throws tantrums 24/7. And then went on to lecture me. It's nice that he knows what's going on with me like school and stuff, but there are boundaries. I can't have the freedom to write what I want because he criticizes me.

I'd rather have no readers than lots of readers + dad. Not just dad, actually...any part of my immediate family. I'd like to have my web life a bit separated from my real one. :|

It sucks to get your post laughed at and be teased constantly about a material you wrote down over the web. My sister does that at times. :| Grr.

The world's already small and the internet just made it wee bit smaller. I feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland, but then everything became small too and I became Just Alice. The wonderland was gone. Everything had to had limits. Ranting about school and stuff were very tolerated. The web's supposed to be my little piece of sanctuary. But they keep on invading it. Like I never left the real world at all.

I remember a lesson in our Fil12 class...

"We need fantasy in order to survive reality."

And internet gives me that fantasy when I'm feeling like the pen and paper is not enough a savior.

And yet...Sigh. :|

I think I'm not making sense again. haha.

I'm feeling like this blog is starting to be filled with negative posts. Lol.

I can't rant in my multiply blog. So I'm just going to rant my heart out here now.

Then laugh at myself later for being such a sissy. :|

I wish they'd stop looking at my site. -_-

Sigh.

Time to study for Physics and Calculus.

The time that I've taken, I pray is not wasted.

How many blogs have I put up and left to rot?

More than 10. The only one I'm keeping active is my multiply site. But the site's filled with non-sense-ical stuff. Or whatever you call it. I need an outlet for things that I don't want my friends (the ones I see every single day. Or close to that.) to read or know. Why? I'm not really the kind of person you'd expect to just randomly share her problems in life and whatnot. It makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. Unlike having a blog wherein I don't get to see the readers that often, it makes me feel secured in a way. Ironic though, because I trust my deepest thoughts to those who I barely even know. You know how one can trust a person because you know that person doesn't know you well? I mean, for instance, I know you but you don't know my friends. That's good because I can talk to you about things I don't want to share with them. They can't judge you so easily because they don't know much about you. It gives me a sense of security.

Err.

I'm not making any sense now, am I?

I wish I am.

My hands have been itching to write something for the past few days. I've been chewing (gnawing?) on the stem of my yellow no. 2 pencil since then. The rubber eraser can't be recognized now. (Remind me that mechanical pencils exist.) I just want to write something so badly. A blog entry is a start. But I really want to write a story. Not because I aspire to be a writer--heck, no. I just want a story that I can relate to. Hah. Trust me to be self-centered even in the simplest of things such as stories. :|

ANYWAY.

I put up this blog for the sole reason of writing things I cannot.

And I named it "The Anti-Failure Project" because I'm feeling such a failure in my parents' eyes right now. (Ok. Shallow. But I think I'm having the middle child syndrome. God, help me.) I'm thinking positively. I even changed my multiply layout to I AM NOT A FAILURE to make me feel better about myself.

Oh Calculus, how I loathe you.

That's it for now. Time to put my pencil to rest.